are we toning it down?

lately i've been doing some thinking about the way we all communicate. yeah, that's a fairly broad topic, no? but further, i've been taking note of emails, tone, tweets... and i've noticed some things. primarily, these interactions take place between women - and, well, as a woman, i wanted to share my observations.

i think we're all guilty of it. you know what i'm talking about.

i'm talking about changing your tone and grammar online. it's a tricky firepit to dance around - after all, we're living in an age of misinterpreted text messages and "he didn't include a smiley face. does he like me?" being a legitimate question among friends at the dinner table.

language is powerful. bold, stunning helvetica glaring at you from your iphone 6 screen can feel as if it holds the weight of a ton of bricks. what we say to one another matters, as well as how we say it, and that, my friends, is an indisputable fact. but y'all, let's just say that in a lot of my correspondences (i am 110% guilty as charged, trust me) everything feels a bit... sugarcoated.

we worry that we come across as harsh or demanding if we don't use enough exclamation points or emojis. in email, we merely make suggestions instead of asking for what we want, for fear of coming across a certain way. we insert words where they don't belong - "i just thought that maybe..." replaces the confident "i thought". unnecessary apologies and explanations litter your gmail inbox like the plague.

i'm catching my own bias here. i'm trying to think of ways to eliminate the "justs" and the "maybes" and exclamation points and still come across as warm, sincere and inviting - and my first thought is, "but i don't want people to think i sound like a bitch." but further, is it necessary to be buttery warm and inviting 24/7? who is really like that?

maybe the focus should be on cutting down the verbal clutter. don't change your words, just eliminate them. trim up your interactions to make them succinct, passionate and wholly you - minus unwarranted punctuation. we can compliment, encourage, express and ask, or even demand, without dripping it sugar, and convey the impression of a competent, friendly person. it's not about being rude, it's about being confident in your wants, needs and ideas. they're good enough. don't feel you have to frame them with emojis for them to be valid.

what do you think? are you mindful of how you communicate online?

glorifying busy + life behind the blog

i've been busy lately.

actually, busy is an understatement.

between working 70 hour weeks at my day job, managing birmingham bloggers, social media, preparing to travel the entire month of july and recently learning i'll be moving in the next two months, i haven't really had a second to breathe. or do my laundry. or go to the gym. normally my days are structured, i get to leave work at 5pm, i have time to meal prep, do my yoga, get drinks with friends, and breathe. not lately. but, for someone who thrives on routine, i'm doing surprisingly well having it all thrown out of wack. i'm not sure if i'm just functioning on some bizarre auto-pilot mode or what.

busy, busy, busy. we're all so busy. and we use that excuse for everything. caught up in our own busyness, it often feels impossible that anyone be busier than us or even begin to parallel the madness our life sometimes feels it is.

lately i've tried to remind myself that i'm but a piece of the puzzle. that my busyness is no more or less important than anyone else's, and that we all deserve a breather every now and then. i'm trying not to glorify 'busy'. i'm trying to be grateful and receptive to 'busy', but able to take a step back and take care of myself. busy isn't validation, busy isn't a purpose, busy is a word we use to feel important sometimes.

i still have time for what matters - myself, my relationships and my well-being. and letting busy overtake that isn't cool. (aka i have got to stop ordering takeout to the office)

be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

the beauty of being an introvert

will the real introverts please stand up?

or don't, because that might be a little too much attention for you. i understand.

understanding your own tendencies & personality is an integral part of your 20's. what's more important is coming to peace with who you are, embracing it & using it to your advantage. now y'all, this doesn't mean ignore the parts of you that need improving, or justify bad behavior because that's just "who you are" (how often do you hear people pull this line? can you say ugh?).

i'm an introvert. and i love it. and i'm ok with it. this comic sums it up perfectly.

society tells us introversion is a less-than-desirable trait. outward enthusiasm, being a social butterfly, "putting yourself out there" & being the life of the party is how we're told we're supposed to be. but what if that just can't be everyone? and what if there's nothing wrong with that?

i've always known i was an introvert, but it wasn't until the past year or two that i've accepted & embraced it. part of that process was understanding what introversion and extroversion truly are.

so what's the first thing that comes to mind? introvert = i don't like being social/around people. extrovert = i love those things! sure, on the surface, it may seem that simple. instead, introversion/extroversion is about energy, and where it's drawn from. introverts feel recharged, refreshed and in tune with the world when they're alone. this doesn't mean introverts don't enjoy social situations or thrive in them - they simply need time to themselves to recharge afterwards.

for me, finally "getting" this helped so much. it's helped me pursue my passions, career and friendships to the fullest extent, understanding that with time to think, reflect and analyze, i can jump into any social scene in a breeze. and sure, about 3/4 of the way through a large social situation, i feel like i'm running out of gas. and that's ok.

are you an introvert or an extrovert? or, do you feel like you're an ambivert - a little of both? what role has introversion/extroversion played in your life? and, here's the big one: do you think bloggers have a tendency to be introverted?

blogging intentions + the diary days

i've been blogging since i was 11 or so. i started out on livejournal, writing my private, emotional and tumultuous fifth grade thoughts (lol lyfe is so hard guyz) into my online diary that not a soul cared about or read.

and then my friends and peers joined livejournal. and looked at my journal. i started to make 'friends only' and 'private' posts. i mean, i can't have the entire world knowing about my middle school drama, can i? certainly not.

over the years, blogging intention has changed. blogging has changed. to talk about sharing yourself online in the way it existed 10 years ago in comparison to today is largely unfair - the entire premise of blogging, sharing, etc. has evolved to be something else. for many, a blog is no longer a place of musings, sordid life details, conversational tidbits and woes. internet presence has become about community, connecting and offering bits of your world that build friendships.

i haven't written a diary in years. the internet was my diary. and now, the internet is an outward facing, primped, styled and polished reflection of my life. no qualms about that - we all do it. but the carefully arranged photos and instagram shots are not my life. and they're not yours either.

i appreciate beautifully crafted food photography, glamorous product reviews, carefully photoshopped photoshoots styling valentino shoes... it's all gorgeous and dreamy to look at, and i am all about the visuals (i mean really, look at my photo that goes with this post...) but will blogging ever just be about the raw stuff again? will the diaries ever come back in full swing? more importantly, should they?

i can think of many reasons why not. in 2001, we weren't worried much about what our internet presence said about us if it was pulled up on a a job interview. i don't want an employer to google my name and have my relationship drama come up. everyone is more guarded now, crafting their words and images. i think it's smart, but i suppose i miss the internet of old. livejournal, xanga and diaryland anyone?

what do you think about how blogging has changed? how long have you been blogging?

4 loves + a recipe! {happy valentine's day!}

 of course i made mini strawberry heart cheesecakes for work this week :) click here for the recipe!

happy valentine's day! as i mentioned in my valentine trinkets post last week, i adore this holiday. it's more so about love and pink things in general for me, and always has been. and y'all know i don't need an excuse to buy pink stuff and eat chocolate. every year since i was 14, i've had a boyfriend for valentine's day (yep, you read that correctly) and this is the first year i haven't. and you know what? i'm stoked about it.

so while i often make posts about my "current obsessions", here is what i'm really loving right now. in the spirit of valentine's day, my true 4 loves:

01. i love my amazing family. my parents are my best friends and my brother makes me laugh like no other human can. i love that they support me. i love cooking with them. i love returning to fairhope, even if it's just for a weekend, and listening to music at restaurants on the bay or visiting the ducks at the pier.

02. i love the most incredible and compassionate friends i have been blessed with. this is the first time in my life i can honestly say i have friends who would do anything for me, who are 100% true and genuine and always have been. quality over quantity. these are people i'd give my life for.

03. i love birmingham! i've written about this so much, and i still feel i haven't found all the right words to say. every day i feel so lucky that i live where i do, that i'm surrounded by a rampant foodie culture, music, art and beauty. oh, and i'm less than a mile from my office.

04. i love my health. it's been a difficult lesson to learn that nothing in life is guaranteed, and that includes your health. i am so grateful for mine. i love that i have the ability to run the color me rad 5k in april, i love that i can wake up every morning and practice yoga with a healthy, able body.

what are your loves? how do you celebrate valentine's day?

sending postcards from a plane crash

i've recently re-discovered my love for fall out boy, ok? don't say you don't secretly listen to them too. & sending postcards from a plane crash is probably my absolute favorite song of theirs.

wow, where to begin? this post is probably better organized in bullet points, but hey, let's switch it up a bit. corey & i celebrated valentine's day the weekend before the date, and i cooked my very first steak! i know its hard to screw up a tenderloin, but i was nervous. i made a red wine reduction with mushrooms and mashed potatoes as a side, of course. i'm pretty damn proud of myself!

since around the holidays of 2012, i've really stepped up things in the health department. college got the best of me, guys, it really did. and while i enjoyed every second of late night pizza and hoping my metabolism would return to its preteen meredith level of endurance, i knew i had to make a change for the better. with graduation looming, i figured it was better to get fit now rather than later. i'm happy to say it's been a wonderful, empowering success. i've lost weight, i have more energy, i feel happier and at peace. truly, one of the best decisions i've ever made. and these cheesecake cupcakes i've made a few times now definitely helped (no, really, they're not that terrible for you!).

i've missed baking and cooking not-so-great for you things... let's be honest, usually because they're prettier. protein powder doesn't have the same finesse as a red velvet cupcake in a floral wrapper, you know? i'm still cooking, just different things now. maybe i'll start posting recipes again.

along with my lifestyle changes, i've tried a few new things, one being juicing. i'm still not sure if its for me. i tried a cucumber, celery, lime and grapefruit concoction and was definitely not sold on the idea. i think i'm ok with getting in fruits & vegetables in solid form. i am not a big vegetable fan, so i figured this would be a good way to eat more, but i just didn't like it that much. is the taste supposed to grow on you?

i've been relatively busy this semester, but corey and i managed to get away to fairhope to spend time with my parents this past weekend. we went out saturday night to meet up with some friends and caught up on movies on our 'to watch' list. we're planning to head back down in march for the arts & crafts festival - corey and i also signed up to run in the spring fever chase! honestly, i'm not a big runner... but i just figured why not?

i'm ready to graduate. i'm ready to move on with life. i love you college, and it's been an incredible 4 years, but i'm ready to let go (watch me totally regret saying this a year from now). i've got spring break coming up... and i am SO ready.

goodbye 2012 & hello 2013!

visiting bellingrath gardens christmas lights in mobile, rollerskating double date in birmingham, my awesome wrapping skills, 2012 memories, my favorite b&bw scents, my parent's christmas tree, my new juicy pizza charm (after christmas sales, yes!) & my new bracelet.

long time no blog! after over a month, i've finally got the time to sit down & write. i never intended for this blog to be a routine, scheduled thing - after all, i am a busy student & i have to put other things first. but i still love writing, & it makes me really happy when i have the time to do so.

the end of the fall semester was the most stressful of my life. i shed blood (literally, thanks to my clumsiness & nearly taking a finger off with an x-acto knife) for the sake of my classes, but it all paid off! my grades were awesome, and i'm going into my final semester of college excited & optimistic. i've spent the majority of christmas break relaxing and recuperating - trust me, i needed it - and focusing on me. it always feels good to say that. last semester, i let my health slip for the sake of time & convenience, but i've done a wonderful job getting back on track and taking care of myself, which i will undoubtedly continue in 2013.

anyway, it's 2013?!?! how did that happen?! 2012 was a major learning year of my life, full of fun, love and adventure. i learned a lot about myself & about other people. 13 is also my lucky number, so i've got good feelings about the year to come. i'm not normally one for resolutions, but i'll summarize, briefly, what i hope to accomplish in 2013:

• graduate in may with my bachelor's degree, of course! but before then, focus on my classes & enjoying my last semester of college.
• get a real job. oh boy.
• remind myself who my true friends are & give them my all.
• keep negativity out of my life & maintain my health.
• i don't want to jinx it - but i'm planning a big, important trip this spring, & i'm crossing my fingers that it works out. i don't even want to talk about it because i'm scared of getting too excited & then it not going as planned - BUT LETS BE HOPEFUL!

i miss baking, y'all. i just bought THE cutest cupcake liners the other day, & i'm so excited to use them. this weekend i'm going to visit some old friends before i go back to tuscaloosa after the national championship game. i hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season & new year, happy 2013!

instagram's impact on blogging

i'll preface this post by saying that i love instagram. it's fun, interactive, user-friendly, creative, and operates seamlessly. most everyone i know loves the app, or wants a smartphone just so they can use it. obviously, facebook saw what was up and purchased instagram a few months ago for $1 billion dollars - and after that, it absolutely exploded. it's likely worth more than $1 billion by now (don't quote me, i'm no business major)! i've used the app since spring of 2011 and i still have fun with it.

while instagram has its perks and i won't stop using it, i've realized that it's changed the way i blog, and the way others blog too. but for better or worse?

as a veteran blogger of nearly a decade, i've seen the "phases" of blogging and expression fluctuate. from livejournal's photo-less, emotional posts to tumblr's reblogging insanity, the way things are shared has evolved.

i remember when i first entered college and began blogging publicly - creating a post was an event. i'd spend a while setting up shots of makeup i'd bought or food i had made, just to get it perfect and beautiful for my blog. i'd carry my nikon d3000 in my handbag (so heavy!) and snap photos of my food, the setting, or what i was seeing. often, i would come home, look at my shots and decide they weren't good enough, thus i'd have no post. because posting without photos? who does that anymore?

then instagram happened. at first, i just used it to link to my twitter instead of using twitpic. putting filters on photos to make them look pretty was a lot more fun than just a boring old twitpic with sub-par lighting. but then, i watched instagram move from the app itself to blogs. it began taking the place of photos from dSLRS or film cameras. and soon, like many other bloggers, my daily life was being documented through my phone, and not my camera. i don't remember the last time my nikon left my apartment.

i remember being the girl who wanted to sit by the window in restaurants so i had good lighting for the shot of my salad, but now i just whip my phone out and instagram will brighten it up if it's too dark ('rise' and 'nashville' make everything look great!) i realize that the entire process of taking photos of your everyday activities is disputed as a little weird and ridiculous, but it's no different than the thousands of vloggers on youtube or bloggers around the internet. we all want to share, we all want to connect, we all want to let everyone see a bit of our world. i just miss putting more thought into it.


the fact is, instagram hasn't changed blogging in a good or bad way. but it's definitely changed it. while i praise instagram for it's convenience and i actually enjoy reading other bloggers "my life via instagram" type posts, sometimes i wish for the days where it didn't exist. as a busy student with a job and classes, i find the ability to take quick photos that look great for a post incredibly appealing. but in the future, i don't want to forget about my camera and an aspect that makes me love blogging : taking great photos and learning about my camera.

does anyone else feel this way? what are your thoughts on instagram and how has it changed your blogging or interactions via social media?